Title: [A Thousand Tear Drops Behind His Smiles]
Surely you recall my letter to men some two weeks ago, where I held a strong stance towards the man and his treatment of the woman. My beloved ladies were pleased, and a few of them, bless their hearts, were considerate enough to recommend a two sides of the story. I ended that article with the caption, “Ladies you’re next!” And so here we are.
Dear lady, society wants to prove to you that you’re at war with the man. Society teaches you that the man is a predator that sees you as a prey. Society wants you to see the man as your arch enemy. Society inspires you to focus on his insecurities to the sole intent that you consider him a foe.
My lady, after discovering my unusual love and passion for the betterment of womanhood, I used to think that I was a feminist, and so I took time to study this fascinating political ideology. Unknown to many who consider themselves feminists, there have been three waves of feminism:
First-wave feminism held sway in the 19th and early 20th centuries, focusing on overturning legal inequalities, particularly addressing issues of women’s suffrage.
Second-wave feminism (1960s–1980s) broadened debate to include cultural inequalities, gender norms, and the role of women in society.
Third-wave feminism (1990s–2000s) refers to diverse strains of feminist activity, seen by third-wavers themselves both as a continuation of the second wave and as a response to its perceived failures.
Although the realities on ground in Africa, particularly Nigeria, is a sharp contrast from the ideals of feminism. So you find a lady who confronts a man headlong, even if he had no ill intentions towards her.
Furthermore, an unstated percentage of single women today have their reasons traceable to misconstrued ideologies and inclinations towards feminism. Feminism (misconstrued) has also been seen to have largely influenced the prosperity of lesbianism in the 21st century.
In Nigeria, I see some feminists who are married, have enviable homes, amazing kids, and highly submissive to their husbands, but when you see the ideas they share about men to the consumption of single ladies, particularly on social media campaigns, you’ll open your mouth, you won’t be able to close it.
The aforementioned may not be unconnected to the reasons why some single ladies today are reconsidering the institution of marriage. For our friends who may have misconstrued the idea of feminism:
Quite simply, feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities. It’s about respecting diverse women’s experiences, identities, knowledge and strengths, and striving to empower all women to realise their full rights.
As you see dearly beloved lady, you are not at war with the man. Love is still a beautiful thing, marriage is still to be desired, and no matter how many confusing information you find as you proceed in this world, there are millions of men around the same world who respect you for whom you are, who believe that you deserve a chance to be the best you can be, who will do anything to make your voice heard.
Although we have a few men out there who have long lost the script and ought to be addressed for whom they are—irresponsible, but I speak for the good men. And no matter how many times you have fallen, no matter how many times your heart has been broken, the bravest thing you’ll probably do is summon the courage to embrace life again. You my lady, are one in a million ❤